Neener, Neener, Neener

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! I'm so excited!!! My Birthday is in 19 days and I don't even care because I just got one of the best gifts EVER! And I'll be 25 so let's just forget about it and I'll stay young forever...

My Hubby surprised me on Sunday with a box of car parts! At least that is what he told me it was when we picked it up from FedEx. Why would I question it since we get, like, 3 boxes a week for the Bug or the old Jeep. No! This is what is was-

Yeah, that's right! This is where the Neener, Neener, Neener comes in.



This is MY new Sony DSLR. It's 10.2 megapixles and kicks all my other cameras butts! Oh, I've wanted one for sooooooo long. A camera where I could change the lens, and adjust the focus, and all that other stuff I don't understand but will talk about to appear more intelligent .

Before I even started shooting this baby I read the entire users manual- cover to cover- like a geek (but a geek who knows how to work her camera)! Then I read 3 more books, AND took notes from them, for hours.

What's that you asked? Oh, yes, I did get some lenses for my camera from Tod. Three actually. What a great un-birthday.

Here is a few examples of what I shot today during my first attempt to at being a photographer.

Disclaimer: I do not know what I am doing, these are experiments, so I do not promise great photos or make any such claims at awesomeness  (my ultimate goal).

First I wanted to play with aperture (and photograph something pretty). I promise the colors on this are better on my computer.

Then I followed/really annoyed Scruffy for a while.

But he started farting so I stopped....

and went outside...

where I played with lighting...

and lenses!

The List

Am I obsessed with myself? Maybe, but why else have a blog? So in the midst of my tumultuous life I decided to spend a minute on, what else, me.

We had a lesson in primary last week where I asked the kids (my adorable 5-6 year olds) about some things they were thankful for. I'm glad that they are thankful for "why did the chicken cross the road?......... to get to the zombie farm." "Why did the gum cross the road?.......because it was stuck on a 4-wheeler." Why did the duckling cross the road? Why did the chicken NOT cross the road? etc.etc... Is it bad that I just let them talk so I can hear what they are going to say next?

Anyway, back to me. I wanted to make a list of things I'm most grateful for so I can add home ownership later!

• Scruffy (more specifically him not attacking me in real life like he just did in ANOTHER dream)
• Kevin/Getting Married
• My Whole Family... awwww
• Being Able To French Braid My Own Hair
• Knowing Where All The Countries Are Located On A Map
• My Fake Butt
• Vitamin Water (for making water bearable to drink all day)
• My New Found Obsession- Pinterest (see button at left if you wanna take a look)
• Travel I've done
• BOOKS (and magazines)
• Glitter
• Homemade Jerky
• Sunshine!!!
• Salt (the mineral not the movie)
• Scarves/Boots/and Hats (including my new $500 Dolce and Gabbana belt)

The end. Not of things I'm grateful for, just things I can think of at this second. So, if a home is in my future I'll be sure to be thankful also for a mortgage, yard work, housework, repainting, new carpets, plumbing, remodels, property tax, driving, and new neighbors, oh my.

A Home Run!

The good news is we decided on a house (the one I liked of course)! YAY! Now time for the offer. I'm not going to tell you what it was, but I am going to say it was very fair. The worst part was the waiting. I did not eat for two days!
So, what happened.......!?!?!?!?! They said no. No counter offer, they decided not to sell the house after all. Hearing that is a mixed feeling of disappointment, annoyance, and relief. I think I just was feeling sooooo much pressure.

That put us back to square one, burning gas and looking for houses. Armed with a list of 15 more options we set out yesterday to begin our search again. We haven't gone into any yet, but I have some leading favorites:

(In Kennewick by Sunset View Elementary)

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/523-N-Montana-St-Kennewick-WA-99336/85950369_zpid/#{scid=hdp-site-map-bubble-address}

(In Pasco by CBC)

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/4112-Meadow-Beauty-Dr-Pasco-WA-99301/23345281_zpid/#{scid=hdp-site-map-bubble-address}

(On the 8th Green / In Horn Rapids)

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2657-Dornoch-Pl-Richland-WA-99354/85947038_zpid/#{scid=hdp-site-map-bubble-address}


I'll keep give you the "inside" scoop as we tour around. This may take a while, expect more blog posts on this subject. :)

One Down...

So, my book just ended. I mean that, it just ended. Suddenly. When I wasn't expecting it. I kind of felt like my cable just went out or something. Apparently "they" thought it would be a good idea to have the last 40 pages be like a book club guide or something. I know I have my own book club of one, but I'm not that interested in discussing my thoughts with myself.

The good news! I still loved the book. Even better news! I'm starting in on a book series that has already been finished! No silly waiting a year for the next installment and forgetting everything. So here is my next book. YAY!!!

P.S. Did I tell you that Clan of the Cave Bear was already made into a movie in the '80's. Starring Daryl Hanna. I can't find it anywhere, but I am going to watch it when I do! Hopefully soon...

Lovey Dovey

My Valentines came a little earlier than mosts this year. I woke up Saturday morning to an annoying hubby pestering me to get out of bed. It turned out he had a bouquet of roses and wanted to take me out to breakfast! That got me up! So we headed off to the classiest place we could think of, McDonalds (a nice one). After eating we began planning what we wanted to do for the day, all I could think of was some shopping. So, we headed out, only we headed in the wrong direction.

Kevin had kidnapped me!!! With no warning, and no preparation for me, we headed to Yakima. At this point Kevin pulled out some hotel information and plans to go see a play! I was really shocked... and kind of concerned since all I had with me was my purse and the clothes on my back. No makeup. No Pajamas. No clean cloths. No real shoes (It was the first day all year I had braved flip-flops). Good thing there is a TJMaxx in Yakima, Kevin stocked me up with some new clothes. Happy Valentines Day to me!

Kevin and I, to kill some time, went antiquing. Did you know that they are open "10-6 usually." To my surprise I found 2 things I wanted, but I still think antique stores are creepy and gross. I got an owl trivet and a silver plated ladle, classy!

After some intense shopping we went to meet Adam and Hayley for Lunch at the Olive Garden. I'm not cheap, I just really LOVE soup, salad, and bread sticks. Then more antiquing.

We went to see the play "Rumors," a comedy, that we were actually 15 min. late for. Due to some bad mapqesting. But we got in and it was fabulous!

My Favorite Valentine's (and Valentine) ever!

XOXOX

Side Effects May Include...

Kevin tried to bribe me into staying home from work last night. Dinner and a movie in Yakima for the two of us! He may have been feeling lonely that I was about to  leave him, or he may have felt pity for a sick girl who was sniffing and hacking like a chain smoker with dust allergies. OR it may have had something to do with what I would consider "abnormal" behaviour on my part.

The fear I have for taking medication (because, let's face it, how does it know what part of my body hurts? It doesn't, it numbs it ALL, and I'm not OK with that!) is occasionally overcome when, in fact, my whole body does hurt. As it did yesterday. The dose of generic brand DayQuil my mom gave me looked extremely huge, but my misery forced me to choke it down.

To my amazement, it actually helped. I was blowing my nose 1/2 as often and my headache subsided. The good times lasted for about 4 hours before I snapped. Kevin turned on SpongeBob, which I find OK normally, but yesterdays episode deserves a Daytime Emmy for hilarity. One joke and I was over the edge, I started laughing so hard I fell off the couch, onto the floor, and just kept laughing...

You know it's bad when Kevin starts to get concerned about my sanity, and offers to take me to the emergency room, I was laughing so hard for so long. The whole time I KNEW I was going crazy. I was laughing on the outside, but inside I was confused and not at all amused. I had long since stopped paying attention to the TV and was laughing at my laughing. Fighting to regain control of my mind took several minutes and relapses. To cap off my mad mental break I finally got my laughing under control by suddenly starting to sob my eyes out (I'm not even exaggerating). Kevin kept asking "what's wrong," and my only answer was "nothing, I don't know, nothing, wahhhhh."

This whole scenario lasted maybe 10 minutes, and at the end I was so exhausted I could not even stand under my own power. I was totally fine after that, I went to work more or less sane. The one thing I have learned from this "high" of mine, a very important lesson, I would make a terrible pot smoker! Or any type of druggie! One of the most miserable/scary experiences of my life, never again, never again!

You Know He Dead

Oh what fun! My Sister and my Papa invited me to a day at the shooting range with them. This was the forth time in my memory going to shoooot some stuff.

Let me tell you about the first time, Tahnia and I were little - my parents wanted us to have a healthy fear of guns - Tahnia's gun ricocheted and smacked her in the middle of the forehead.

Time #2 was at school as a fun activity. One brave young man had the courage to fire a black powder gun, it exploded/fired in a blaze, I'm happy to say no one was hurt and we were all very impressed.  

And #3 was just me, my Papa, and a semi-automatic...

I can very truthfully tell you that going shooting to me is identical to flying. I start out really excited about it, I get there and begin to question why I agreed to do this, I think I'm going to die (crash/get shot), I feel better, like I cheated death when I finish, I pat myself on the back, and I quickly forget all this and want to go again. In that order. 

So the reward on Osama Bin Laden is $25 million. I could use the money, I've got debts to pay. What a better use of my time then honing my skill on an international killer? None!

You can't really see it, but my first shot, FIRST SHOT, was dead in the middle of his chest! I was like a little child all night. "Daddy Daddy look, I shot him in the heart!" "Daddy Daddy look, I shot him in the neck!" One old guy was laughing at me, but he wasn't shooting Bin Laden, he was shooting circles- LAME-O!

Tahnia Killed a Nazi Zombi. Yeah, he dead!... again.

I love that gun the most, the black semi-automatic, it kicked back like I was in a movie. My dad also had a .22, a single shot, and a glock. With all am I deadly. I have no muscle, but I do have some killer hand-eye coordination!  

In case it is unclear I shot him dead between the eyes from 10 yards away... and the head... and the heart. Kevin and I decided that this is the picture we want hanging in front of our door in case anyone ever brakes  in, better than a dog right?!

Could it be ME?!

You may not look up to Martha Stewart, but I do! So she went
to jail for obscuring a federal investigation and insider trading. If only I
had that kind of money to embezzle! And if none of you like Martha Stewart then why did I get so many presents pushing me toward DOMESTIC DOMINATION?

We have a lot in common, Martha and I. Most importantly we
both BLOG! We love to scrapbook, love to cook (don’t listen to Kevin, I can and do cook… I’m great at it… super great… still learning… need more time though), GARDEN (she loves it, I love it now, it’s a love fest), any kind of crafting, sewing, and travel. I just found out we are even reading the SAME BOOK! Freaky!

Destiny put Martha/Hallmark on my DISH programming at the
beginning of the year, so guess who hit the DVR big-time! It got me thinking,
what if I was the next Martha Stewart….. I give you-

“The Shalee Sykes Show*”

*Now to make some $$$$$

In the early morning hours...

It was the sharp stabbing pain across my abdomen that woke me up at 2:00am. I stumbled toward the bathroom sure that I was having some kind of severe digestion issue. No relief. I crawled back into the hall reaching for the closet for some sort of medication, any medication! Too late and I collapsed into a writhing ball of pain on the floor….

My darling, wonderful husband, by some miracle, took only about 5 seconds before he woke up from a dead sleep knowing something was wrong. He found me on the floor, unable to move, shaking, hands numb, and breathing heavily.

At first he asked if I wanted to be taken to the Emergency Room, I said I’d be fine, and then he insisted. I tried to lay on the couch while he went and cleaned the newly fallen snow off the Jeep. He loaded me inside pajamas and all, and at this point I was feeling rather stupid, sure as I could be that this would just turn out to be a really expensive bout of constipation.

We arrived quickly at Kadlec Hospital. The good news is that at 2:30am there is no waiting to get seen so I was quickly checked in and forced to put on one of those awful gowns. They put me in a room and with nice warm blankets and Kevin by my side we waited for the doctor.

When the doctor came in He asked me to list off my symptoms:

• Severe sharp stomach pain
• Nausea
• Numbness and tingling in my hands and feet
• Shaking

After answering a few more questions he ruled out things like kidney stones, burst appendix (I was extra concerned about that since it had just happened to my sister in law), gall bladder… After poking around my abdomen, and giving me some narcotic pain killers, he decided it would be best to order an ultra sound. This was not how I had pictured getting my first ultrasound! The lady was super nice and I got to go on a bed ride to and from my room to the ultrasound room, and let’s just say she did two types of ultrasounds. All the while my devoted little husband stayed by my side.

Back in my exam room the doctor finally came in with my verdict, results, findings. It turns out that at some point during the night I had had an Ovarian cyst 1.5” x 1.25” that had ruptured. My right ovary was swollen, it still had some blood in it, and I had leaked fluid into my pelvic cavity (sorry this part is nasty).

So the good news is it was not all in my head. The bad news, it happened. The Doc sent me home with a prescription of pain killers and the direction to go in for another ultrasound in 4-6 weeks to make sure it heals. We got home a little after 7:00am, some 4 hours later, and all I wished was that I’d worn cuter pajamas!

Trading Pinecones for Pineapples

 There once was a girl named Shalee

Who desired a Pineapple tree

She would search 'ere she went

For that rare ornament

Which she then would display with such glee

I think that summed things up pretty nicely. Actually perfectly, and I could leave my post at that except I feel like writing some more...

Do you watch Psyche? You know, that hilarious show on USA. No! Well, of you did you would know that the pineapple is the universal symbol of welcome. Now that you know this you will understand my brilliance in making it the theme for my tree. Christmas is all about giving and family, so what better symbol than a pineapple.

I do have to say one thing. Most of my pineapples are gifts from friends and family. Just this year My friend Jonny found me the one to the left with the green tag. You can't tell from the pictures but it sparkles with glitter and is therefore wonderful.

On the other hand, I do find some myself. Take the ugly red crab in the middle there, I found it at work last week. She is wearing a pearl necklace and a fruit hat. It is truly hideous in person!

Some of my other favorites are my Lenox. I have three, and last year I made Kevin shell out $40 for a set of 12 just so I could get the one pineapple in it. That's how dedicated I am!

Now you are wondering where I keep such gems. Well, last year I bought them their own special tree~

The "Bottom"

Diving into this pit of self-reflection and potential embarrassment is feeling a bit intimidating. What I am about to reveal is slightly personal and may be disturbing to some so feel free to stop reading at any point…

I say slightly personal, but it is actually very obvious to anyone who sees me that I lack a little somethin’-somethin’ in the booty department (that is if you’re someone who stares my butt…hmmm, awkward). I am, and have been for a while, well aware of this, but for some humbling reason life cannot let me forget it. This is best illustrated with a little story from the other day-

I’m running out the door on my way to have lunch with my mom like I do every Thursday, and in my rush almost leave my iPod but run back inside for it. We all know radio music is garbage so this is important. There are a modest 3,685 songs on my iPod, so imagine my delight when I plug it in, stick it on shuffle, press play, and hear “I like big butt’s and I cannot lie, you other brothers can’t deny…”. You’ve got to love some Sir MixAlot. Then it went to Destiny’s Child’s “Bootylicious”. OK, I thought, a theme ha ha! But then, and I can’t even make this up, it played Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls.” At that point I was significantly cheesed off at my iPod and shut her down and pouted all the rest of the drive to lunch.

 

When it comes to body issues it’s best to have good friends. Belts are my friends, spendy designer jeans are my friends, but like anyone I always want more friends. So, wandering around Bed Bath and Beyond I found a new one. Her name is “Booty Pop” and we are BFFs now! Yes, it is a butt pad that you wear under your pants to give it a little more shape, some curves. It was working wonders for me, or so I thought-

Kevin- “Shalee. Why don’t you wear your fake butt anymore?”

Shalee- (long pause) “oh, I am wearing it……………”

Girl Crush

As defined by Urban Dictionary:

"feelings of admiration and adoration which a girl has for another girl, without wanting to shag said girl. a nonsexual attraction, usually based on veneration at some level."

So, just so we are clear, I don't want any awkward rumors getting started.

To be honest I actually have several girl crushes, from the Olsen twins, to Carrie Underwood, to Heidi Klum. But, for those who know me well you will not be surprised to hear my #1 girl crush is welsh songstress Charlotte Church.

Lately I’ve been getting “Who?” a lot. You may remember her from the 1990’s as the small Opera sensation with the “Voice of an Angel.”

It all started for me with a PBS special where I saw do a concert. I was probably around 12. I knew I liked her then, but in a fit of self denial bought her Christmas album first thinking “I can always use a Christmas album even if I hate it.” Well, not long after I owned 3 of her CDs.

This is where the internet is dangerous and can turn decent people into stalkers. Every week for a long time I would go on google, type “Charlotte Church” (which took me a long time to spell correctly) and read about her latest exploits. Drinking, smoking, partying. She was not really a great role model… but, I was more fascinated than admiring.

Her first 4 albums were categorized a classical. Then, out of nowhere, a pop album! This 5th album “Tissues and Issues” holds a very special place in my heart because it was not sold in the U.S. so I went all the way to London to buy it! Well, that’s not why I went, but it was a SUPER bonus.

My adoration and attention waned a little after that because she settled down, had two kids, and was not doing much. Then BAM! This year a new album!!! I went back into stalker mode in my anticipation. Again, the album “Back to Scratch” was only released in the U.K. so I had to order it on Amazon.co.uk and wait an eternity for it.

Unlike anything I’ve heard from her before, this new sound took me a while to warm up to. Now, I love it. It is a slower type of music than I usually go for, really vocally strong. At the risk of turning this into an ad, you should really check it out if you get a chance. And, it was just announced that she WILL be releasing this album in the U.S. early next year. So, we can all enjoy it together! I picked one of my favorite songs just to give you a taste of something I love so much-

You Can Call Me Meadow Spittlebug

So something has me really excited! An online obsession that may not be very healthy, but is nonetheless entertaining. Please don’t think less of me, just hear me out before judging… I LOVE Green Porno! No, No, No!!! Not that kind of porno, good porno. Good porno? Can I say that? Good porno.

Since I am no longer in school I feel my intellect waning. What did I learn today?... “Shootin’ big ‘Gators with a pistol does not work”. Important maybe, but not exactly impressive. I now turn to my new friend Isabella Rossellini to inspire me.

If you have ever had an interest in biology or paper puppets this is the thing for you. The Sundance Channel and Rossellini have produced the Green Porno series as a fun and educational way to learn the weird ways animals procreate. And some are weird. Rossellini takes the biology seriously. "When I write the script," she notes, "first I do the research, the scientific research, then I try to simplify it as much as I can and make it funny. Then I have to imagine how it can translate in this sort of theatre that we do here with puppetry and me dressed up as the animal … It's funny but it's a little sick too. And also very informative."

I have even learned my Green Porno name, as you may have guessed it's Meadow Spittlebug "Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow"! And Kevin's name- Tarantula Hawk.

They have done 3 seasons so far and a new series called Seduce Me. Take a look at them first, then you can go ahead and judge me….

Season 1- All about bugs

Bee

Praying Mantis

Fly

Earthworm

Spider

Snail

Firefly

Dragonfly

Season 2- Sea Creatures (for those with tender eyes it is the most graphic).

Starfish

Limpet

Why Vagina

Whale

Anglerfish

Barnacle

Season 3- Bon Appetit! The most environmental, focusing on the effects of overfishing.

Squid

Shrimp

Anchovy

Harem on the Beach

Seduce Me! My favorite season! (a sneak peek)

also, Salmon

Bedbug

Duck

Snake

If I’ve at all wet your appetite you can find the complete seasons here http://www.sundancechannel.com/greenporno/video/ . It’s where I’ll be tonight!

Improving My Habitat

Yesterday morning Kevin and I were out running some errends and killing time when he decided to go to Harbor Freight and pick up some tool something-or-other. On our way out of the store, after we had gotten into the car actually, we saw that the Habitat for Humanity ReStore was open. I knew it was there, but I'd never seen it open, and there were people going in so we decided to pop in and take a peek. What I expected was some old appliances on a wall and some random fixtures. What I found was a treasure chest of the SUPER inexpensive and variety.

We walked in and the employee at the door explained that everything inside had been donated and 100% of the procedes go to Habitat For Humanity. That was the point I felt that slight twinge of guilt that says "you must buy something, it's for a good cause."

Well, that twinge of guilt turned to wonder and longing as I found things like $1 cuppboard doors, a super nice leather livingroom set (already sold), a huge lightfixture $15, and a couch for $150 that I SO would have bought if it had not been green and blue plaid. Our real treasure was found at the end, a huge slab of granite 1.5' x 3' x 1.25". And get this - for $5.00! Here is my proof:

Since it is all stuff donated it probably came from a carpenter so I had a little work to do. It had some glue and wood still stuck to the bottom (and don't let the photo fool you) I chiseled and chiseled it off while wearing my swim goggles, which I'm finding more and more uses for in the kitchen.

Then I added some pads to the bottom and TA-DA:

I love this new cutting board for only $5! I recommend the Habitat For Humanity ReStore to anyone now, what a great deal! Find yours:
http://www.habitat.org/env/restores.aspx

Ugh, Why?

Again with the garden? YES! It is a big part of my life right now. Is that sad? I don't know. The point is I came home from our trip to Jackson on Friday and this is what I found-

In case the photo is unclear all my potted plants are on deaths door, my big tomato plant fell over. I mean come on, why did mother nature design a plant that would fall over with my awesome tomato growing ability!

Also, these danged squash. If you are having any trouble sorting out the squash from the other plants I'll help you. See all that green stuff. That's all squash growing OVER the rest of my plants!

This is the sprinkler I set on the lawn on a timer to water when we left. This is the little yellow dot it became (f.y.i. you can't see it)-

So then it was up to me to fix it. In case I failed to mention this I work alone, and by alone I mean Kevin sat inside and watched American Pickers while I was out in 90 degree heat, deflecting bug attacks, and hacking off thorney squash vines and smelly tomato stems. Here is my pile-

But this is what I was rewarded with, so YAY!


Yippee!


And Yum!!!
Jealous Yet?

Small Update...Big Problems

If you recall, I posted something a while back about my little garden experement. Well, after a few snags I got it up and growing. It's been chug-a-luging along at a decent rate ever since....except. My Spaghetti Squash has been doing AMAZING, too amazing. Well....see for yourself-

It is takign over! My air conditioning will soon disappear...

My poor baby squash are being baked before their time...

The squash are now the size of a large potato, but they seem to double in size every day. I guess I'll keeep you posted if I win any prizes at the fair for giant mutent veggies!

Back to my Roots

(I hope this does not turn out tooooo embarrassing!)

I was born a blond and I’ll die a blond! This trip I’ve been trying to take down brunette lane has hit a lot of bumps. For the past year or so I’ve tried twice to go all chocolaty brown, and both times it seems my hair rebelled. It lasts a couple of weeks and then reverts back to a dirty dishwater color, not pleasing for anyone. I think I wanted to go to darker because you hear that blonds have more fun but brunettes are taken more seriously. Believe it or not it was half social experiment and half I wanted to see what I’d look like with my natural color (a medium brown- I think). As I remember, the first time I colored my hair was late high school. I fought it forever, I knew once I started I’d never stop! However, the funky dishwater color it was turning pushed me over the edge. Now as I move back to a color where I’m comfortable (apparently as ditzy and the butt of jokes) I wanted to take the time to look back and take YOU on a journey through the life of my hair…..

Actually, I was born bald! And I stayed that way…for a long time. I did not get my first haircut until I was almost exactly 3! Don’t believe me? Here are the pictures

Then I went through several stages growing up. There was….

Crimping- Ok, I still LOVE crimping, but I don’t think I can pull it off like I used to.

Perms- I think I’ve had three. A note, short hair and perms are not always the best idea.

Short Hair- I’ve yo-yoed in the length all my life, but in general I keep it short.

Headbands- I preferred the cloth stretchy ones in every color. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to wear them over my forehead. This led to some ugly acne at the start of puberty that luckily I could hide under the headbands, HA!

Hats- I had quite the collection and I LOVED to wear them to church. If I could have gotten away with wearing those giant Easter/Kentucky Derby ones I would have been in heaven. I still love hats, but I think Kevin’s got me beat in this right now.

Long Hair- The longest it has ever been was right after high school. I think I grew it out just to prove I could grow it that long. To be honest I hated the upkeep (so much shampoo, so much HAIR)! I cut it right before after coming back from my vacation in Europe with Charity. Seeing the photos from that showed me how huge my hair had become!

Brown- I’ve already covered this, and I’ll probably try it again- someday.

Did I feel more serious and sultry in those few short moments as a brunette? Yes. Do I think it was all in my head? Hmmmm, I don’t know. Probably. What I do know is I want my hair to be sun kissed yellow and I want it to be sun kissed yellow RIGHT NOW!

Tan Lines!?!

That I am sitting here now with the slightest hint of a tan line is an act if incredible body transformation. I, for those who are unaware, am chronically the color of transparent. Just ask my nice blue veins. The only time in my life where I can claim with any honesty that I had a tan was in High School when I was swimming outside 3 hours a day 6 days a week! I was not blessed to be born with the Italian-caramel skin of my grandfather, mother, and little sister. The kind of skin that tans just at the thought of it. Jerks! I do have an anti-tan spot on my ankle, a spot that never tans, as a result it is easy for me to see if I’ve got any color (I don’t). So, on this warm (85 blistering degree) summer day, I had the amazing opportunity to be at home all afternoon. What to do with all that free time? I decided to take on a project, myself. I’m not good at all with just sitting and relaxing, listening to music bores the heck out of me, so my first task was to find something to do outside to keep me entertained. I came up with 3 ideas-

1. Water my plants (I have to remember that now since our rainy season has stopped)
2. Paint my nails (Kevin says I don’t do it enough)
3. Read a magazine (my favorite pastime of all!!!)

Now I have to admit, I did take out my iPod and play music the whole time. I began my tanning around 1:00 after meeting my mom for lunch. I had some tanning oil I had never actually used so I gave that a try. Talk about a shock. I sprayed it on and spent the next 8 sheets of paper towels blotting myself off. This tanning stuff is not for the faint of heart. I painted my nails (10 min.), I watered my plants (20 min.), and spent the next hour and a half reading my SELF magazine and talking on the phone. I finally decided I’d had enough cancer time (still looking as white as Victorian Nobleman) and went inside to wash the oil slick off my body. I went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and HOLY COW! A hint of red! I lifted up the sleeves of my t-shirt - a color variation! My legs? The same! I had gone from transparent to pinkish in one afternoon. I hope it lasts…

ME

MY GOAL