You Know He Dead

Oh what fun! My Sister and my Papa invited me to a day at the shooting range with them. This was the forth time in my memory going to shoooot some stuff.

Let me tell you about the first time, Tahnia and I were little - my parents wanted us to have a healthy fear of guns - Tahnia's gun ricocheted and smacked her in the middle of the forehead.

Time #2 was at school as a fun activity. One brave young man had the courage to fire a black powder gun, it exploded/fired in a blaze, I'm happy to say no one was hurt and we were all very impressed.  

And #3 was just me, my Papa, and a semi-automatic...

I can very truthfully tell you that going shooting to me is identical to flying. I start out really excited about it, I get there and begin to question why I agreed to do this, I think I'm going to die (crash/get shot), I feel better, like I cheated death when I finish, I pat myself on the back, and I quickly forget all this and want to go again. In that order. 

So the reward on Osama Bin Laden is $25 million. I could use the money, I've got debts to pay. What a better use of my time then honing my skill on an international killer? None!

You can't really see it, but my first shot, FIRST SHOT, was dead in the middle of his chest! I was like a little child all night. "Daddy Daddy look, I shot him in the heart!" "Daddy Daddy look, I shot him in the neck!" One old guy was laughing at me, but he wasn't shooting Bin Laden, he was shooting circles- LAME-O!

Tahnia Killed a Nazi Zombi. Yeah, he dead!... again.

I love that gun the most, the black semi-automatic, it kicked back like I was in a movie. My dad also had a .22, a single shot, and a glock. With all am I deadly. I have no muscle, but I do have some killer hand-eye coordination!  

In case it is unclear I shot him dead between the eyes from 10 yards away... and the head... and the heart. Kevin and I decided that this is the picture we want hanging in front of our door in case anyone ever brakes  in, better than a dog right?!

Tradition Lives

I am a very average American and have some particularly average traditions. Carving pumpkins, buying candies for the little ones, dressing up in outlandish clothing, and watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas" are some of my favorite average activities. BUT, the one tradition that is charishied closest to my heart is the annual family shlump through the cornmaze!

This year was no exception.

The County Mercantile just outside of Pasco is our favorite overpriced truck stop/family farm. This year was a particularly cold corn maze, but all the more for the memories. Here is a look at a few of mine-

I married a bad boy! Kevin throws corn ( *see rule two) 

This is my Pops in the middle of the maze... and a giant tumbleweed (only in Eastern Washington)! 

The average couple. Oh so cute...moving on....

After an exciting corn mae race this is me and Kevin. We are winners...

This is Tahnia and my mom. They are losers!

You'd never guess it, but after we popped-a-squat here our heinies got soaked! 

Here is the GRAND FINALE! My (not so average) pumpkin was born of a moment of pure inspiration and a hacksaw, it was the talk of the

trick-or-treaters all Halloween night!

Outstanding October Outings

This weekend I had the pleasure of returning to my old stomping grounds, Central Washington University. At this point I could go on about how much I miss the University life, chilling with friends, so much free time, blah, blah, blah, but that would be pathetic, so I move on… What I want to say is I did some self reflection and here is what I decided about myself.

1) First off, I have great friends. I would have given up on me long ago, but two of my friends (Jonny and Ian) have pestered me for months to come up for a visit. I finally did and had a blast! Thai food, Ice Cream, Baseball, games, PRESENTS! How can a girl resist?!!!

2) I love my new family (I already knew that but I wanted to say it)! We stayed with my brother in law Adam and he let us have his bed. I value few things in this world more than being warm, and I slept on some cold, cold couches, so a bed was a gift. I also loved hanging out with Adam's girlfriend Hayley (I consider her family). She is my favorite foosball partner ever, way more fun than Kevin :)

3) Kevin need to fix the jeep. There is a hole on the passenger side that pours in cold air, this is how we traveled:

4)      I have great timing. We decided on a last minute to take a trip to Leavenworth with Adam and Hayley, and it was OCTOBERFEST! Here is a photo montage of the festivities:    

5)      I Rocked the Mini-Golf so hard!!! This is the point where I tell you the whole point of this post is to brag about my HOLE IN ONE! It was even on the last hole, I should have won a free game! I did pretty well, better than ever actually, putting up a 58. I even beat Kevin! A lifelong goal of mine. Did I mention I had a Golden ball?

 And if you thought my hole in one was impressive check out this sign…

Why visit Oregon? That's why....

We are getting pretty good at road trips this summer! This last weekend we went to visit Kevin's sister Kristi and her family, an 8 hour drive away in Grants Pass Oregon. I have to say, our drive there was one of the most eventful this year. It started with being super windy between Richland and The Dalls, then trying to navigate through Portland, Oregon gas stations where thye pump the gas for you, miles of construction and traffic jams in Salem, more construction, and more construction, toped off with windey freeways at 70mph in total blackness (aaahhhhh!).

But we made it!

Kristi gave us a tour of the house (FABULOUS!) and the town (FUN!). One of our favorite things to do during the visit was play tennis. Kevin and Dave (Kristi's husband) got Lucy (daughter) to be the ball girl. She loved it and was great at it! It was a luxury we never have when we play at home :)

This is Lucy sprinting after a stray ball

Bryn (other daughter) handed these to me through the fence

On Saturday we got to spend some quality Aunt/Uncle/Niece time while the parents went to Rock Out at a concert

Bryn entertaining Uncle Kevin

Kevin taught Bryn to "Pound"

It is the cutest and funnest thing EVER

This is when Bryn decided to like me.

I don't know why, I look scary here!

The girls just wanted to help Uncle Kevin put their new chairs together

Sunday we watched football. It was great to see the Seahawks win for once! I give credit to my team spirit, even Bryn joind in the occasion

Goooooooooooo Seahawks!!!

The end here is a photo collage of our trip I made courtesy of Lucy's photography (my favorite is the one of Kevin on the Tennis court doing the "superman")

My Top 5 (Reasons NOT to visit Jackson, WY)

In an old western town there was once a girl. She was a beautiful girl who was excited to show this magical place of her childhood to the man she had just married. "Oh what fun we will have" she thought. But, after an arduous trek across the country, full of construction delays, RVs, transmission problems, and unscheduled potty stops(*cough* Tahnia) she was begining to have some doubts. What if her new man did not feel the magic, what if he was disappointed in what she was offering, what if~

(1) He hates animals!

This place was known throughout the land for it's abundance of wildlife. It was not uncommon to see an Eagle soaring through the air as you are parked in the road waiting for a lazy heard of bison to decide for themselves to get out of the way. What if a moose was spotted on the side of the road or in a grove of trees you happen to be paddling past? Would her man be excited to have such a close encounter with such a majestic animal, or would he be bored by its giant rack and foaming nostrils? On one of the first days of their great adventure the girl noticed the rump of a moose off the side of the road. It was the strangest looking moose butt she'd ever seen. Now you should not judge the girl, from afar the colors of a moose and a Grizzley Bear are the same! Plus, this was the first bear she had ever seen in the wild outside of a garbage can.

(2) He hates National Parks

In this land there was a special magical place called Yellowstone that she was told you had to wake up at 5:00am to experiance. They all did a little exploring around some colorfuland steamy places before arriving at the main attraction. They were there just in the nick of time. After the amazing experiance of watching boiling water shoot into the air, not to mention listening to all the little kids oooohhhhh and aaahhhhh they did some more exploring. The Hot Pots were an amazing array of colors and smells, but the real adventure started when the girl walked past an innocent looking geyser when it exploded!!! With no warning!! And she screamed and ran away! The adventure then continued down 310 horrible cliff side metal stairs, and then back up (5 breathless stairs at a time), and ended with being chased off the viewing platform of thier last stop by 2 fighting Bison and rangers with industrial sized cans of Bear Mace strapped to thier hips. (3) He hates Adventure

The girl had one thing on her list to try, White Water Rafting! She had watched for years those brave enought to take on "Lunch Counter" or "Big Kahuna." This year was her turn! She was cold and wet with bruses on her legs, but she felt, well... still cold and wet but full of pride. Her man says his mouth was open because he got a bunch of water in his face and NOT because he was shreaking in fear. He was brave, strong, and a great sheild for his lady sitting up there in the front.

(4) He hates Kayaking

Since before she can even remember the girls family have been AVID Kayakers. If he can't hack getting up at 5:00am to get on the river and see some wildlife he will not be able to hack it with her family. They will think him a weenie!

(5) He hates nature

It is the boys own fault that while pretending to fall in the water on his longboard he actually looses it to the great blue. When his beautiful young wife and her whitty Uncle immediatly jump into the freezing lake water to retrieve it the boy can do nothing but laugh, lucky boy.

Or, lets say the boy is standing on a rock on the edge of a canyoun when a 4.8 earthruake rocks his world and he and the rest of the family watch rockslides fall and a dustploom envelops them. Will he hate nature when he sees the fissures in the ground?

The girl worried for a long time what her husband would think or was thinking. But, after all was said and done the boy seemed to like seeing a bear, and he was excited by the earthquake. She no longer worries about pleasing him since she now knows he can live with her family for a week and that in itself is the greatest adventure!

*photo credits to Tod Peterson (the whitty uncle) and Tahnia Jensen (the one who HAD to pee)

It's A Boy

As the doting parents of our little Bearded Dragon we thought we'd take the time to introduce him to some of you and/or to update those of you who are already acquanted! Right now the little daring is sitting on a log basking in the heat of some of his many lamps. Here are some of our favorite photos:

Baby Scruffy

Funny Scruffy

Angry Scruffy

In an effort to get to know Scruffy as well as possible he has agreed to fill out a short survey describing himself (a warning- he has a bit of a potty mouth):

Name: Scruffy

Birthplace: Australia, or some pet store

Hometown: More like Homeroom, these fools never let me outside!

Favorite Food: Crickets... no, Mealworms...no, Crickets...no, ahhhhhh who gives a ((beep))!

Favorite Travel Spot: Anywhere YOU can't find me

Most Embarrassing Moment: That time last week I ran into the wall, it hurt like ((beep))!

Favorite Disney Princess: What the ((beep)) kind of question is that!

List 3 of Your Best Traits: Eating, Eating, and pooping on Shalee 3x

Favorite Pastime: Telling people to "((beep)) off!" and hiding

Now a glimpse of the little fella in a video montage we like to call Scruffy the Devourer:

Back to my Roots

(I hope this does not turn out tooooo embarrassing!)

I was born a blond and I’ll die a blond! This trip I’ve been trying to take down brunette lane has hit a lot of bumps. For the past year or so I’ve tried twice to go all chocolaty brown, and both times it seems my hair rebelled. It lasts a couple of weeks and then reverts back to a dirty dishwater color, not pleasing for anyone. I think I wanted to go to darker because you hear that blonds have more fun but brunettes are taken more seriously. Believe it or not it was half social experiment and half I wanted to see what I’d look like with my natural color (a medium brown- I think). As I remember, the first time I colored my hair was late high school. I fought it forever, I knew once I started I’d never stop! However, the funky dishwater color it was turning pushed me over the edge. Now as I move back to a color where I’m comfortable (apparently as ditzy and the butt of jokes) I wanted to take the time to look back and take YOU on a journey through the life of my hair…..

Actually, I was born bald! And I stayed that way…for a long time. I did not get my first haircut until I was almost exactly 3! Don’t believe me? Here are the pictures

Then I went through several stages growing up. There was….

Crimping- Ok, I still LOVE crimping, but I don’t think I can pull it off like I used to.

Perms- I think I’ve had three. A note, short hair and perms are not always the best idea.

Short Hair- I’ve yo-yoed in the length all my life, but in general I keep it short.

Headbands- I preferred the cloth stretchy ones in every color. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to wear them over my forehead. This led to some ugly acne at the start of puberty that luckily I could hide under the headbands, HA!

Hats- I had quite the collection and I LOVED to wear them to church. If I could have gotten away with wearing those giant Easter/Kentucky Derby ones I would have been in heaven. I still love hats, but I think Kevin’s got me beat in this right now.

Long Hair- The longest it has ever been was right after high school. I think I grew it out just to prove I could grow it that long. To be honest I hated the upkeep (so much shampoo, so much HAIR)! I cut it right before after coming back from my vacation in Europe with Charity. Seeing the photos from that showed me how huge my hair had become!

Brown- I’ve already covered this, and I’ll probably try it again- someday.

Did I feel more serious and sultry in those few short moments as a brunette? Yes. Do I think it was all in my head? Hmmmm, I don’t know. Probably. What I do know is I want my hair to be sun kissed yellow and I want it to be sun kissed yellow RIGHT NOW!